There is never enough time to do all the nothing you want
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg
Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know
I'm as single as a dollar and i'm not looking for a change
I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
I am not anti social I am selectively social
Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer