Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was
You can make anything by writing
Unlesss your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything
The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
