Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Love is a serious mental disease
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon
If you think you can slander a woman into loving you, or a man into voting for you, try it till you are satisfied
The friendship that can cease has never been real
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer