I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind
We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself
The good of the people is the chief law
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer