I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
Only the dead have seen the end of war
We stopped looking for monsters under our bed when we realized that they were inside us
Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to
Dare to think!
The friendship that can cease has never been real
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer