I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose
Hope is a waking dream
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity
The display of fame most often supresses the voice of conscience.
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
