I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
There is truth in wine and children
Aspire to inspire before we expire
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing
Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody’s watching, and doing as you say you would do
When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world
Courage is grace under pressure
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Actor, Comedian, Writer