I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry
You may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension
The heart was made to be broken
Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Actor, Comedian, Writer