I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts
Courage is grace under pressure
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it
I honor religion except when it gets into shedding blood
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer