You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
zombies eat brains, you are safe
I can't imagine a man really enjoying a book and reading it only once
You are my favorite distraction
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, it’s also what it takes to sit down and listen
A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
