You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies
Shortest horror story: Monday
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country
Throwing yourself into a job you enjoy is one of the life's greatest pleasures
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
A lovely face is the solace of wounded hearts and the key of locked-up gates
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
