You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Those who make fun of you, those who try to get rid of you, they are the people whose applause you most often seek to obtain.
Dislike in yourself what you dislike in others
Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, it’s also what it takes to sit down and listen
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
