How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet
Chance favors the prepared mind
If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
