If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore
With life as short as half taken breath, don't plant anything but love
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist see opportunity in every difficulty
It is the lone worker who makes the first advance in a subject; the details may be worked out by a team
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer