If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law
Those who make fun of you, those who try to get rid of you, they are the people whose applause you most often seek to obtain.
I would prefer an intelligent hell to a stupid paradise
Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go
Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
