If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Unlesss your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything
The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live
If your hate could be turned into electricity, it would light up the whole world
He who boasts lowers himself
Broadly speaking short words are best and the old words when short, are best of all
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
