Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read
Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again and you will be filled with joy
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself
Death is the best teacher
Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
