Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
One who makes himself a worm cannot complain afterwards if people step on him
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go
If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck
Good better best Never let it rest. Til your Good is Better and your Better is Best
My will is mine...I shall not make it soft for you
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
