Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Man is the cruelest animal
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
In the course of my life I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet
You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
Be curious, not judgmental
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer