Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it
Help and you will be helped
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to change often
The heart was made to be broken
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
