The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
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Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Don’t fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less
Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance
How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Actor, Comedian, Writer