The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
