The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Don’t fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less
Always remember that you are unique. just like everyone else
Unlesss your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy
Good girls are found every corner of the earth. But unfortunately earth is round
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer