The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
If your hate could be turned into electricity, it would light up the whole world
If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Shortest horror story: Monday
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all
My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
