You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
If you don’t want to do something, don’t impose on others
One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it
I am not young enough to know everything
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
