You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
He who avoids complaint invites happiness
What if you are in hell & you are mad at someone where do you tell them to go?
Things do not change; we change
My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again
Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
