I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country
A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water
God gives sleep to the bad, in order that the good may be undisturbed
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all
Everything you can imagine is real
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
