I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Help and you will be helped
There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind
Explanation is where the mind rests
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer