The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
zombies eat brains, you are safe
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
People say nothing is impossible, but i do nothing every day
You are my favorite distraction
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but its gets boring. So I go back to being me
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
