The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Youth is not restored by the dyeing of your hair
You are my favorite distraction
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
