You are my favorite distraction
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
A man may imagine things that are false, but he can only understand things that are true
It is the lone worker who makes the first advance in a subject; the details may be worked out by a team
While there's life, there's hope
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen
If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
