You are my favorite distraction
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
He who boasts lowers himself
We made the buttons on the screen look so good you'll want to lick them
Beauty when unadorned is adorned the most
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go
Everyone has his day, and some days last longer than others
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
