I need a six month vacation, twice a year
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty
In heaven, all the interesting people are missing
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing
People say nothing is impossible, but i do nothing every day
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know
Hell is empty and all the devils are here
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
