I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Dislike in yourself what you dislike in others
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy
You could not handle me even if I came with instructions
Let the other guys do the crybaby stuff. Go for the laughs
Courtesy costs nothing, but buys everything
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
