I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I have lots of hidden talents, the problem is even I can't find them
If your hate could be turned into electricity it would light up the whole world
Good girls are found every corner of the earth. But unfortunately earth is round
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
