zombies eat brains, you are safe
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to
Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever
There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind
If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Shortest horror story: Monday
The heart has its reasons which reason knows not
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
