zombies eat brains, you are safe
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be
Anything new is always considered the devil's tool
Everyone needs someone who can handle their darker sides
Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer