I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Fellow, stand away from my diagram
Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I'll move the world
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.
You are my favorite distraction
Aspire to inspire before we expire
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
