I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Everyone needs someone who can handle their darker sides
If your hate could be turned into electricity, it would light up the whole world
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
