If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation
zombies eat brains, you are safe
The function of a citizen and a soldier are inseparable
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
