If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love
Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye
What one man calls God. another calls the laws of physics
One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors
For it would be better to die once and for all than to suffer pain for all one's life
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
