If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
The true disciple should aim to live for the gospel, rather than to die for it
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination
Fellow, stand away from my diagram
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. And be kinder than is necessary
No one can construct for you the bridge upon which precisely you must cross the stream of life, no one but you yourself alone
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer