What if you are in hell & you are mad at someone where do you tell them to go?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I will speak daggers to her, but use none
Let the other guys do the crybaby stuff. Go for the laughs
When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
Measure what can be measured, and make measurable what cannot be measured
The very essence of romance is uncertainty
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
