Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Dare to think for yourself
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light
You are my favorite distraction
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there
Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back
Good actions are a guard against the blows of adversity
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
