Money is something. you got to make in case you don’t die
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on
I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too
Shortest horror story: Monday
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
