If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Vision without execution is daydreaming
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth
I am not anti social I am selectively social
A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep
There is no friend as loyal as a book
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
