If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart
Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress
Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love
Great things in business are never done by one person. They are done by a team of people
Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
