You are my favorite distraction
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was
To make light of philosophy is to be a true philosopher
If you think you can slander a woman into loving you, or a man into voting for you, try it till you are satisfied
If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it
In heaven, all the interesting people are missing
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
