I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Measure what can be measured, and make measurable what cannot be measured
Shortest horror story: Monday
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall
Money is something. you got to make in case you don't die
Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again and you will be filled with joy
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
