You are my favorite distraction
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
He who boasts lowers himself
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read
O Contentment, make me rich! for without thee there is no wealth
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
