You are my favorite distraction
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out
Can one desire too much of a good thing?
What goes up must come down.
Everything you can imagine is real
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
There is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
