What if you are in hell & you are mad at someone where do you tell them to go?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today
It is painful to realize that while an animal recognizes its master, human beings do not recognize their Lord
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer