I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
I'm trying to think, don't confuse me with facts
If you don’t know a thing never hesitate or feel ashamed to learn it.
Dislike in yourself what you dislike in others
We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
