I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all
Let the other guys do the crybaby stuff. Go for the laughs
Never miss a good chance to shut up
The greatest truth is honesty and the greatest falsehood is dishonesty
It is a good rule after reading a new book, never to allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between
Only great spirits experience the triumph of success.
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
