I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen
Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are
The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men
Broadly speaking short words are best and the old words when short, are best of all
Everyone has his day, and some days last longer than others
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
