I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
Beauty when unadorned is adorned the most
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works
One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane
In times of war, the law falls silent
I lay it down as a fact that if all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
