I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will
There is truth in wine and children
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind
Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something
Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again and you will be filled with joy
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
