I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken
As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out
It is safer to be silent than to reveal one's secret to any one, and telling him not to mention it
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
