I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Unlesss your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
In the course of my life I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet
I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you
The more i study nature the more i stand amazed at the work of the creator
For it would be better to die once and for all than to suffer pain for all one's life
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
