I need a six month vacation, twice a year
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The death of dogma is the birth of morality
The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way he can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him
A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them
Never spend your money before you have it.
I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
