I have lots of hidden talents, the problem is even I can’t find them
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it
Take care of your cents: Dollars will take care of themselves
Everything you can imagine is real
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead
We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
