Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
American stage and motion picture actor, vaudeville performer, cowboy, humorist, newspaper columnist, and social commentator from Oklahoma
I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry
Measure what can be measured, and make measurable what cannot be measured
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.
Comedian
Actor, Business Magnate, Producer
Actor, Playwright, Poet
Actor
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
