I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but its gets boring. So I go back to being me
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted
Let the other guys do the crybaby stuff. Go for the laughs
Don’t fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer