My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Work is the thing upon which everything else in this world depends
Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail
Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime
We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead
We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives
Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
