My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives
There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
The one who steps back will not progress
One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Actor, Comedian, Writer