I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I'll move the world
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on
But inner experience is only one source of human knowledge
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
