happiness is… having friends with the same mental disorders as yours
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live
I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people
Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance
Avoid evil deeds as a man who loves life avoids poison
Patience ensures victory
We stopped looking for monsters under our bed when we realized that they were inside us
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
