Aspire to inspire before we expire
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again
If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on
Scientist believe in things, not in person
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself
The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it
The world's big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer