Life is short , smile while you still have teeth
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
The brave may not live forever – But the cautious do not live at all
Sexual self-restraint is only a preliminary stage in the ego's evolution
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
