You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence; the past is a place of learning, not a place of living
Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself
The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way he can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer