Unlesss your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop
There are no facts, only interpretations
Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
