My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all
Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made.
Courtesy costs nothing, but buys everything
Vision without execution is daydreaming
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing
Life is short , smile while you still have teeth
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
