My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I am not dead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Nothing can kill the power of the lower self, but everything serves to enhance it.
Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.
Scientist believe in things, not in personÂ
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle
How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
