I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping
Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas
May be you should eat some makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside too
The greatest truth is honesty and the greatest falsehood is dishonesty
To earn a suspicious living is worse than begging
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
