I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
For somehow this is tyranny's disease, to trust no friends
Great things in business are never done by one person. They are done by a team of people
I need a six month vacation, twice a year
A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool
zombies eat brains, you are safe
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
