If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Love is a serious mental disease
You are my favorite distraction
How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg? Four. Saying that a tail is a leg doesn’t make it a leg
Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck
Hope is a waking dream
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
