If we should not eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I have never considered myself a poet. I have no interest in poetic artistry
Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself
Only the dead have seen the end of war
Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love
The elements which are the most widely diffused have small atomic weights
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
