How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
I need a vacation that long, I forget my passwords
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist see opportunity in every difficulty
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words
There is truth in wine and children
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
