Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Don’t talk about your riches in front of poor
If you think you can slander a woman into loving you, or a man into voting for you, try it till you are satisfied
Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary
you will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it
To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to change often
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
