You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever
Train people well enough so they can leave, treat them well enough so they don't want to
If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on
We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all
Nations are born in the hearts of poets, they prosper and die in the hands of politicians
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
