If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
What we know is a drop, what we don't know is an ocean
A man who is certain he is right is almost sure to be wrong
Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn
Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
