I need a six month vacation, twice a year
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect
Close your eyes. fall in love. stay there
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm
Don't follow the majority follow the truth
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving
Brevity is the soul of wit
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
Actor, Comedian
Comedian, Historian, Philosopher
Comedian, Writer
Actor, Comedian, Writer
